Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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