You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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