A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
tell me about the eggs
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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