i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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