i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
