I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
