Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
