Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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