Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
