let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize