dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
