sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
