I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
