sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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