dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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