That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
