I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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