Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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