My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
