Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
