Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
