So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
