do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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