So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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