eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you made out with another girl for some wings
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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