Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
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now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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