Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
