just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
