awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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