i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
