not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
