i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
