I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
