I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
