New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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