It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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