Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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