You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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