found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
