so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
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If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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