my vag is so smooth its legendary
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
