mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
