If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Bring me that man meat
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
