Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The power of my boobs compel you
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
