in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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