after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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