She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
