I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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