why didn't you poke me back
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
