btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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