The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i want to swaddle you in tequila
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize