one two three fourrrrnication!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i came on her dog
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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