I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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