I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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