I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
