Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
