Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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